Feelings
by WickedForGood13
Summary: Jesse confesses his past to Rachel. "Funk" AU.


Jesse sat staring into space. He couldn't focus on anything, not even the girl lying in his arms.

"Jesse, talk to me," Rachel whispered.

He'd just driven her home from school after the almost-egging. At the last minute, Jesse had stepped in and called off his teammates.

In response, Vocal Adrenaline had egged Jesse instead of Rachel.

Jesse had been in a state of shock ever since. He'd managed to clean himself up, with Rachel's help, and had somehow driven them both to Rachel's house.

He was now lying with Rachel on her bed, trying to process what had happened.

"Jesse," Rachel whispered again. His silence was beginning to scare her.

"They were my family," he finally whispered. "They were my family and they turned on me. Just like everyone I've ever known. They turned on me."

"Jesse," Rachel began. "I know you've been hurt. I understand that the natural thing to do is to hide from your problems. But you have to learn to face them. The only way to do that is to talk about what's bothering you. Please. I love you. Talk to me."

At hearing that Rachel loved him, a dam seemed to break inside Jesse. As Rachel held him, he released years of tears, with Rachel simply let him cry. When his sobs finally quieted, he realized that Rachel was still holding him, despite having just witnessed him crying like a baby.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he muttered, ashamed at his display of emotion. "I'm not used to being weak. I've been strong for so long—I've had to hide my emotions so those around me wouldn't see my pain."

"Never apologize for showing what you're feeling, Jesse," said Rachel firmly, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him.

Jesse took a deep, shuddering breath, before he began to speak.

"My parents never wanted me," he confessed. "I was raised by a slew of nannies while my parents were off traveling the world. They both come from wealthy families, so they could well afford to pay for the nannies and the countless trips they took. I would see them at Christmas, with maybe a card or a phone call on my birthday. I wanted to become a star because I thought my fame might make them pay attention to me. I thought perhaps they'd stay. I was wrong. My dream of being on Broadway pushed them even further away. They'd planned for me to be a doctor, not an actor. By this time, I had my heart set on Broadway, so I continued to work hard at achieving my dream. I joined Vocal Adrenaline because they were well established as one of the top show choirs in the country. I knew that was my ticket to fame. The members of Vocal Adrenaline became my family. We did everything together and eventually they helped push away the pain of my parents' rejection. Now, they're the ones to have rejected me. I'm still waiting for you to reject me. Then my feeling of worthlessness will be complete. But I don't want you to leave me. I'm not strong enough to handle you leaving. Don't leave."

While Jesse had been telling his story, Rachel sat and listened. She cried with him now, as she came to fully understand what had turned Jesse, the boy who only wanted his parents' love, into Jesse St. James, the soulless automaton.

Now, as she listened to his pleading, she set about to reassure him.

"I'm not going to reject you, Jesse," she said. "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. We're soul mates. We're destined to be together. So, I'm not going anywhere."

Jesse could only stare at her in shock. She was the first person to not walk away from him. She was the first person he'd let see his vulnerable side who hadn't pushed him away. She was his first love.

"I love you," Jesse whispered, pulling Rachel down on top of him and kissing her with all his might.

Then, as the moment felt right, they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, as they lay tangled together, they whispered words of reassurance to each other, promising that their love would never die and that no matter how famous they became, they would stay together—forever and always.


End file.
